3 Lessons I learned from Kemi Adetida's King Women
First of All, let me say that I loved everything about Kemi
Adetiba’s King women series, the series was inspired by Kemi's admiration for her mother's life stories.
I will forewarn you by saying this is a long post, so lets begin.
I especially appreciated the level of openness and rawness that the interviews had. The uninterrupted voices of Ten powerful women, Tara Fela- Durotoye, Ty Bello Jumoke Adenowo, Taiwo Ajai-Lycett, Remi Fabgohun, Ayodeji Megbope, Funke Victor- Okigbo, Chioma "Chigul" Omeruah, Eng (Mrs) Mayen Adetiba and Adesuwa Onyenokwe , their pronounced power, their perspectives and the intentional lessons learned and shared from both their highs and lows.
King women is an interview based series that featured influential and powerful Nigerian women who shared their inspiring untold stories. The interviews were conducted by Kemi Adetiba, a Nigerian Music Director, and TV director.
Usually when you watch such a series, you can quickly become intimidated about what you imagine to be an unrealistic or unattainable work ethic for to the everyday woman. However when watching this i felt inspired and connected to these women.The stories felt too close to home. They could have been stories of our mothers, our aunties, our sisters or our daughters.
Pictures of the powerful women who were interviewed
I have to confess that I binge watched all the episodes, and my interest in the interviews made my husband curious enough to watch some of them with me. I was immediately captivated by the first episode.
Thanks to this series, and the vision of Kemi Adetiba, I got to meet these wonderful women, whom our paths may never physically cross but have changed my perspective and have affected how I will continue to live my life.
Without Further ado, as the title suggests, here are 3 lessons I learned in the King women series. There were many lessons learned. You will need to watch the interviews to get a full experience.
Lesson 1: Be reliable/ be determined, they work hand in hand
" let your yes be yes…. my middle name is reliability"- Taiwo Ajai-Lycett.
The first episode in the series featured Taiwo Ajai-Lycett, this episode set the tone for the powerful stories that will follow. I have to confess that I cried like a baby when she spoke of her life's experiences, the ups and downs and how she was determined through it all.
Her style and grace is apparent as she starts to speak. This particular lesson resonated through all the interviews Kemi conducted. The ability to be reliable allows people to trust you and want to work with you. I attribute being reliable and being determined as two things that work hand in hand. For you to be reliable, you have to be Determined to not disappoint. You have to work with a level of integrity that, even when things do not pan out exactly has you may have planned, people will know that it’s due to extenuating circumstance and something absolutely beyond your control. I’m not saying that there wouldn’t be moments of disappointments; however those situations should be few and far between.
Taiwo Ajai - Lycett mentioned the said "my yes is my yes, my middle name is reliability" When she sets the eyes on something that she wants to achieve she does not let anything stop her not death not the loss of a child the loss of her husband not teenage pregnancy. She has a good understanding of who she is and who she wants to be she is grounded.
Ayodeji Mogbope was also one of my favorite interviews. She epitomized the definition or both reliability and determination. She went from a woman whom many had given up on, to an entrepreneur who has been invited to the White House on multiple occasions and has met Michelle Obama. It seems that no matter what came her way, she was determined to move forward and press on. Check out her interview to learn about this remarkable woman.
Lesson 2: Sexual abuse is a problem; let’s not sweep it under the carpet.
" i felt like dirty concrete and not a beautiful flower"- Ty Bello
Too many girls, women are carrying the burden sexual abuse acts that were committed against their bodies, by those who were supposed to love and protect them. These abuses cause our girls to lose their innocence so early and tarnish their self-esteem.
Sexual abuse is way too prominent for us to keep sweeping it under the rug. We do not talk about this issue enough. The high level of shame attached to this experience was described as some of these women gave account of their experiences. The shame is always carried by the innocent victims. sexual abuse tarnished memories of their childhood, and affected the course of their lives.
Ty Bello spoke of feeling like a dirty concrete and not a beautiful flower, till she realized that the abuse was not exclusive to her and 1 in 4 girls that she knew were abused.
We need to have more open and frank conversations about this. Push aside the shame, because the shame protects the perpetrators. I’m not saying that I have a solution to this problem but I believe a dialogue is a good starting point. Women like Ty Bello and Ayodeji were part of the lucky one who was able to break from the grip of shame and move forward in their lives.
Note that I’m not saying that girls/women are the only victims of this act, Men and boys are also victims. Sadly there have been too many stories told by guys who jokingly talk about losing their virginity to their nannies at a young age. This is an attempt to make something that’s traumatic and abusive and convinces themselves that they were in the position of power. So yes by all means let’s have all these conversations.
Lesson 3: Let God be your light….let him Guide your path.
In the midst of death, loss, grief, poverty and even abundance, these women allowed God to move in their lives. Ayodeji Mogbope told a story, that I have retold to colleagues because I was so moved by it. She spoke about a particular event that changed the course of her life. Here is a quick synopsis of how she entered entrepreneurship contest hosted by the U. S and was chosen as one of the participants. She is then asked to host a group of the American personnel in her home, at this time the notorious Nepa had taken the electricity and a generator was not an option, but she realized, that this event had already been ordained by God, she needed to just focus on the part that she had control over and allow God to do the rest. To her wonder, at the moment the personnel entered her home, the electricity came back.
It came back just at the nick of time. I can’t begin to tell you all the remarkable stories that depicted these same lessons.
When you watch this series, you will see how God worked through their situations. It may allow you to also reflect on how God has worked through the situations and circumstances of your life. I was able to reflect and count my blessing as I heard these stories.
As you see there is a lot to learn from these women. I have not even begun to scratch the surface of the lessons that I learned. I will love to hear from you. What did you learn as you listened to these stories. Did they remind you of anyone? Yourselves? Is there something you plan to do differently? Share your thoughts with me.
I'm thankful for the opportunity to experience this series and for the level of openness that these powerful King women shared their lives failures and successes. Your stories will help those of us watching, to live more intentionally.
Till next time,